Having a Cold=Eating Crap

It never fails...i try to start eating healthier, and i end up sick...which causes me to eat a bunch of crap because i'm tired and miserable and lazy and blahhhhh. I was sick a week or so ago, and thought i had kicked it...but yesterday morning i felt like crap all over again. I started to feel slightly better this afternoon, and i actually made dinner, although i doubt broccoli cheddar rice has much nutritional value...but broiled pork chops arent too bad right??? right??? oh well, i only had one regular soda today at work...could've been worse i guess.
I bit the bullet tonight and stepped on the scale...exactly where i thought..220.
Now, when i had my lapband put in in 07 i was 235...i got down to 192...and was feelin good...then we moved to florida...away from my doctor...and with the new insurance down here, none of my aftrercare was covered...guh. so i was able to maintain...i found another surgeon, even though i had to self pay...but unfortunately, i'm just too far out to make much difference at this point. and i was ok until i decided i was going to try and quit smoking...HUGH F'ING MISTAKE. In one month i went from 192 to 220. yes. i said ONE MONTH. that was april of 09. and here i am now...with a band that works only a little, and pretty much right back to where i started...
i now know i'm an addict. i know to some this may sound dramatic, funny, or even just plain stupid. well...reality check...it's not. i quit smoking cold turkey (having smoked at least a pack a day from the age of 18 to 30) no problem.i onnly started again because i was so damn sscared to gain any more weight. now ask me if i can go a day without regular soda...not so much. if thats not an addiction, i dont know what is...it's pretty sad when in my past i had actually considered doing cocaine to lose weight (and for the record, i NEVER did...but still, i thought about it...i was THAT desperate).
So here i am...and i just wanna get better so i can exercise...i figure ill start with the wii fit, move on to the power 90, and end off the year with p90x...thats the plan anyways...but for today...my ass is plunked down on the couch in front of the laptop, watching paranormal state and extreme makeover home edition while wrapped in a blanket cuddling with the tissue box....
i hope tomorrow is better.

~J